Showing posts with label critique. Show all posts
Showing posts with label critique. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Post #3: SlaughterHouse 5


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Hello hello to my three readers. (wait.. apparently four readers now because my stats show me someone in the Ukraine is reading my blog) ((and to Mr. or Ms. Ukraine I ask you, "whyyyy?"))

     I just finished reading a book named "Slaughterhouse 5". I figure many people have tried to write a war novel that tries to communicate how meaningless the whole act of war is and at the same time show how it destroys a person's life. "The Sun Also Rises" by Hemingway is the only other book I can think of that does this without actually ever including a war scene. Take Hemingway's book: add a person who is going insane, few mentions of the massacre at Dresden, some time travel and some other crazy shit like aliens (obviously it has aliens.. lol) and you have "SlaughterHouse 5". Its a classic yet crazy book that makes no sense until you finish it. And then you question.. is he really insane? But because the book is written so well, it keeps you from tossing it into a fire. Also, i recommend read it quickly, other wise you'd be opt to put it down and never return to it because it is so random. My two cents.

*WTH Danny.. I came here for animation wisdom, not a fucking book report...

     Hey! I read a lot.. so sue me. I either procrastinate on my short film through reading all day or watching "Friends" on Netflix for 7 hours straight! #LifeGoals, (am i right?) These posts are about the journey of making a film from scratch, and procrastination is a huge part of it whether I'd like to admit it or not. So yesterday I procrastinated by sitting at a train station for hours, the whole while determined to finish the second half of my book in one sitting. (its a short book) After I finished the book I looked around me. I'm sitting at a pretty empty bar. (if you know me you're rolling your eyes and saying, "of course he's at a bar")
     So back to the point: when you finish the book, you're left with a feeling that life just 'IS' and nothing really matters. I take a glance at the lives around me after i finish the last sentence. 4 bar stools to my right theres a kid, probably 23 years old with his laptop typing away at spreadsheet. It's a windows laptop so I don't think he's the obnoxious type.. He seems cool but he nursed a beer and a half for 2 hours so my respect for him fell a bit. Plus you could tell he wanted to talk to the two cute bartenders taking care of us but he never worked up the courage to do so. One of the bartenders was showing off some roses she received from a friend. A good luck token for her procedure tomorrow. A procedure for what? I didn't care enough to ask. I was more interested in; if the two basketball enthusiast to my left, actually had a chance with the bartender. for a good hour they were trying their best to flirt and start a conversation. They were always shot down with one word answers. Being there all day made the bartenders comfortable around me i guess, so when we chatted it it flowed without effort. "What are you reading, Where are you from, etc etc.. again, I couldn't of cared less. I just liked being there.

CUT TO:

     - When I was on a train somewhere backpacking between Bucharest and Kiev (Eastern Europe) I sat hugging my backpack and it was so warm and sunny. The word "warm" I use liberally because it was winter and it was still cold.. But still, it was blue skies for miles, and it was so peaceful. The mountain ranges and the forest looked so picture perfect that everybody on the train had their noses glued the windows. Especially the two women sitting across from me with their new Cannon cameras. I didn't know what language they were speaking but you can spot a tourist no matter what tongue they talk in. Everyone was wide eyed, taking in the scenery, everyone except me, I couldn't care less. Instead I chose to nap. Once in a while I'd open my eyes to soak in the view but to be honest I was soooo content just being in a place i didn't know, all the way across the planet surrounded by people I'd never see again.. I just relaxed and enjoyed "existing." Was it an existential moment? Meh, I wouldn't go that far to label it that. Maybe I was just content for surviving South Africa and the Middle East the two months prior.. IDK, i just liked being there.

On a train.. Somewhere in Romania.. 


Shit I haven't story boarded in 3 days.. But on the plus side I just had pancakes
...small victories are what count..





Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Process 101: Critiquing A Short film

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Since I always encourage people to send me work here is the result of one of these emails. I thought this letter would also give some insight and help others who might find themselves in the same predicament. Enjoy :)

______________________________________________________________

So lets get down to business. (excuse my misspellings and forgetting to CAP my sentences and much much more) Here is a rant of questions I have regarding your short film

       Why is he writing, for who, for what? Does he get what he wants by the end? What does he even want? Why does he not want the skeleton to read the paper, how does he know if its the same paper he was writing on? why does he want to keep the skeleton in the closet, doesn't he want to show off a walking skeleton thats alive?? If it represents something i dont see it whats the relationship between the skeleton and the boy. who's the boy in the photo, he looks like the main character, is the skeleton also writing a story, why are the crumbled papers so important, why does the skeleton go to the door, does magic already exist in this world, why is the boy not freaked out, what does the skeleton want and why? (on a side note, another reason your story is confusing is because you have to hint to all the elements of your story in the beginning. You introduce magic but the story is under way and it came out of no where. It is possible to keep the supernatural part of your story but that I can discuss later if you want)

      So that's a little bit of a rant. They're all rhetorical questions so no need to answer them. But one thing is apparent, your intent and your symbolism is overtaking your story to the point that the story isnt making sense. So this is how I would fix it:

       Lets keep your theme. "Coming out of the closet." ..thats not a theme by the way. The theme is more:"Accepting something about yourself" So EVERY decision I make is going to be based off that sentence. 

       Since by the end of the story the boy has to accept himself ,then to make a full character arc, we shall in the beginning make him not accept something. (original story: you have him being frustrated. thats one reason your story feels like its all over the place. unless you would show at the end of your original animatic that he was overwhelmingly calm)  
        Another thing I want to change is your symbolism.. or.. at least tone it down, One thing to remember is you can not carry a story based on symbolism alone, symbols have to support your story not take front and center. I'm going to keep your symbol of the closet but ditch the literal skeleton. I'm also going to take the magic out of your short. It doesn't need it. So bear with me and read along my version of a story about accepting yourself. I'm changing a lot so dont get scared. But notice how in the beginning our character isn't accepting and through things that happen I force him to change. (change shouldn't come easy it has to be hard, if it was easy then there wouldn't be much of a story to tell bc he would change in the first scene)

STORY:

-Its a boys 8 yr old birthday. All the cool kids with their flashy clothes are there at his party 
-He gets a jacket as a present, he is embarrassed of it because its ugly.

-First day of school. it's windy outside. He chooses not to wear the jacket and throws it to the back of his closet. He's very cold all day

-Second day of school. It's raining. He looks at his jacket. walks to the closet and reaches for--- a magazine. walks to school and uses it to block the rain. He gets very very soaked and is very cold all day and gets sick

-Third day, ITS SNOWING. He reluctantly takes his jacket from his closet. He arrives at school. He anticipates the kids making fun of him and his jacket bc it's ugly. But they don't even notice his jacket. They tell him to hurry up and join them in a game. 
-alterante ending- he gets to school and is so happy being warm and not wet and cold he doesn't care about being made fun of. he's warm and everybody's fancy jackets don't even come close to keeping them as warm as his does.

DONE

       Super simple. lots of opportunity of cool character animation especially when he's making decisions. Sorry about taking out the magic. I really liked it but it's too much trouble for what it's worth. You can still use a skeleton, just put it on his jacket :) See how the symbolism is there? but it's now lowered to a supporting role. :) This is a lot of stuff happening for one story your sanity will lie with how efficiently you story board it. I will do one supper little pass to get you started. 

NOTICE HOW I ONLY USE AND SHOW WHATS IMPORTANT. AND IF IT''S NOT A SUPPER IMPORTANT STORY POINT, I SHOW IT AND THEN MOVE ON. DO NOT LINGER. 
I wont linger doing unnecessary shots if doesn't add/show new information to the story. 









NOTE, 
       I over simplified and of course it looks like a 3 year old story boarded it. BUT it's clear and when you redraw these with cool angles and such, make sure you make your drawings just as clear. are your main story points clear. All the detail you add to your drawings should some second to the story telling elements. Besides, you shouldn't focus to much on story, you want to animate then right? Then get to it. also notice how i re-used some camera shots. YOU ONLY RE-INTRODUCE A SHOT if you have something new to say. the less shots you use, the less confusing your short will be.That is super important. Try to do the same if you are going to change the shots. You can add shots but I wouldn't recommend it. Its already a lot to animate. 

      Your longest shot should be the walk to school! also notice by doing that you are spending the most amount of time on the most important part of the story. Not the end, not the beginning, but the whole part before he gets to school on the last day. Thats his most emotional part (he should be thinking, 'omg what are the other kids going o think of me, omg omg etc) I could of spent more time in the beginning at the birthday party but then I'm going to make it compete for importance with the walk to school on the snow day. REMEMBER, how much time you spend on a moment = how important it is. So DECIDE whats your most important and what isn't important. And use your time accordingly.

I hope this helps!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Animation 102: General Polishing Notes..

     So here is an email of a critique I wrote out. I thought it had some useful elements  to it and decided to share! Context: They is about to wrap up on this and has a little less than a week to finish. So I pointed out the major things that catch my eye and overlook the little things so they can make the best use of their time... enjoy



Hi _______,

     Lets get down to business shall we? I'll try not to be that harsh :)

     So, contrast... everything needs some sort of contrast, it just makes things look texturally more interesting, agree? So your animation is great, but as bad ass as it is, in the beginning it's still sort of, smushy, water smooth... (and I understand he's sneaking) but none the less the characters movement is a bit swimmy.

     The Culprit: The FLASH LIGHT. The flash light moves way too much and at the same pace and style as the body, if you would just view the flash light and hide the body, it will look like the hand of someone high, or drunk, or just someone waaay too relaxed. It has tooo much over-lap (up and down), the head and the body go up and down already, no need to go overkill and do the flash light as well, it's like you want me to watch your assignment while nodding my head up and down the whole time. if you're more a percentage kind of girl, I would tell you to take it 80% down...

     Solution: Hold it reletively still in the direction it is in now, towards the opposite wall where he is heading towards. and if you are feeling daring even put a lil frequency vibration in it to show shaking, but DONT MAKE IT look like he has tremors! This will contrast the slow cat like movement of the body. make it look like he's holding the Flash light with a purpose and not hold it as if it was a prop.

     POSES: On frame X78 is very natural and realistic. Not bad, but tell me one thing...  which one is better.... im just asking.. you know... just take a look and let me know...



        You see? Just always push things a little more and make sure you are selling the pose. Never forget to check if your silhouette value is the best and clearest it can be. Is it telling the whole story? is it appealing? What might it be mistaken as? how do i make it fool proof? And don't start saying that it's not physically possible with the model. "but Dannny, it wont let me, It doesn't want to bend that way, it's too hard..."  FORCE IT. Do not compromise with the computer, do not meet it half way, don't let it decide how far you can push your art. It does what you tell it to do, don't pitty it. The moment you start to let it tell you who's boss, that's when we all lose and then movies like Terminator 2 and the Matrix become reality. Always keep the computer in check. :) It's just waiting for you to let down your guard..... haha

Frame X78- X104
       After you hit that pose you start to turn, BUT EVERYTHING TURNS WITH EACH OTHER FAIRLY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!! You do have a teeny weenie bit of an off set, but that's only because I had to look for it. How about you hold the head staring towards Screen Left for a while longer and hold the flash light there too. Make the body turn first then around X92 start the head turn, try that out see if it feels right and adjust accordingly. Break it up, make it feel natural.

       Ok this next one is a big one, you might hate me but i can afford you to hate me, what you CANNOT afford is sub par problem solving skills!
-Flip through Frames X105 to X110.. then continue flipping to X115. Doesn't it look like he's bouncing off those boxes? Like in a bad action film sort of way? X110, that character definitely broke it's back on those boxes.. I drew something that might help you out:





      So you see what I did, I also moved your last pose a little screen left. This way not only is it a reaction, but VISUALLY he is moving away from the ghost as well. It makes the head ARC less spontaneous and it's easier to follow along with the eyes. But that means reworking the animation before and after it and making it work, re-look at the physics my pose change demands and make it work. it's going to be tough but try it out. It will definitely be challenging.

     Your ending
, I'm going to acknowledge it's subjective. Because I too watched cartoons when I was younger I could recognize what you were doing (scared stiff and the fainting) but if I was living in a cave my whole life or from Antarctica, I would have no freaking idea what the hell was going on, "he stopped, then moves again and stops again... then he MOVES again to fall down... and then the ghost looks at me??" WTF is going ON!!!!!!????? lol. your animation is nice. I'm just letting you know you are relying on the audiences background knowledge of cartoons to sell your idea.

      So I hoped this helped you out, Let me know how it goes, your animation is very nice and it doesn't look messy at all. Good job staying organized. Notice how most of my notes were on choices and not fundamentals. That's perfect since you are in the polish stage. If you would like me to check it out again let me know and I'll gladly do it. Touch on these notes then I can look deeper into your timing and spacing after there is nothing to distract my eye. Keep on going!

-Daniel Gonzales

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Critique of Blocking

Here is a recent critique I did. Thought I'd share because it deals with the blocking stage of animation, and people always fine this the hardest part to get through. So hope this gives insight.

Next post on (SOME TIME BEFORE FRIDAY) will be my side animation I've been working on.




THE LETTER in raw form:

Hey ______,

      Very very entertaining. Things to tweak but not things that you missed. Just PUSHING things you already touched upon. Which is very good. This means you are not missing the point and there for do not have to learn anything from scratch. So far so good _____. 

So in this long ass critique, I'ma talk about two things. SELLING YOUR IDEA and ANIMATION. The latter being just regular animation notes and the first one is mostly about your CHOICES, not your technique. Second one skill, first one Personal. Cool? ok.. here we go...

SELLING YOUR ANIMATION-
    Your audience is number one number one number one. You are doing character animation so your audience by default is number one. Character animation isn't conceptual or just animation for animations sake, you are doing it for your audience. 
    Your idea gets across. it's gum. on a shoe.. and he wants it off. YAY, but don't pop champagne bottles over this just yet. As a character animator to get the idea across is NOT THE POINT. (And if you get ANY ONE THAT SAYS OTHER WISE give them my address so they can come to MY HOUSE and I can tell them personally. [bc I'm not going to go waste my time going to their house to tell them something I know..]) I repeat, to get the idea across in an animation is not the FINISH LINE. You have to make us experience with the character what the character itself is feeling. The point as a character animator is to make us Feel what the character is feeling. And we do this by emphasizing story points and having good acting with correct timing to compliment the mood. Movement has texture that highlights whats important and what is not. everything works together like how all the muscles in the arm, back, and torso controls a ballerina's delicate arm motions during a performance. 

Ok, Now to business. ~FRAME 51: this pose. THE MONEY POSE, this is the pose your whole assignment is revolving around. very nice. Clear silhouette. BUT you only give it 12 frames for the audience to register it. You need more. Here's why:

-You give the walk more than 20 frames..You give 37 frames to pose after he looks at his foot (the OH SHIT WHY ME pose i call it). 25 frames are given to the nice entertaining walk to the edge of the curb.. You give 20 some odd frames to him scrapping the curb with the bottom of his shoe.. 30 frames to scraping the sidewalk with his shoe at the end.

    Just about every action is given more attention than the crucial pose on frame 51.. You give it 12 frames AND you still have to ease into it so i say you actually have given it 6 frames. So when starting an assignment here's what I look at.

'Can I take out this Pose/Action and the assignment still make sense?'

      There are only 2 poses/actions in your shot that if we took out, would cripple your shot: The Walk and The First Look underneath the shoe. Everything else is icing on the cake. So priority is always to be given to these two poses. the walk is fine. :) but you neglect the Look at the Shoe pose like a little red headed step child. haha. Give it more time and you'll be fine. 
    PS. I know your limit is 200 frames, I'm not insensitive to that, and I do recognize the feet sliding at the end is actually some of the most entertaining animation you have in this assignment.. My solution?  You have TWO foot scrapes on the side of the curb.. Make it ONE. Take that time and add it to hold your story telling pose (first look underneath foot)

That's just one note.. hahaha

(DISREGARD this note because I just found out that the eyes cannot be animated.)
Ok second note. I know i know you are short on frames. Other wise I would say to make the second look underneath the foot longer. BUT you can't. bc of restrictions.. doesn't mean we over look the note. Can his eye's be animated in any way more than a blink? If so, please atleast show him get angry in that pose (only in the eyes) it would really compliment the last foot sliding action. The foot sliding action right now comes out of no where (which is funny) but you can not REALLY make it come out of nowhere. everything needs a lil anticipation. so his eyes getting angry (that the gum is still there) is his anticipation to scrapping the shit out of the gum until it dies :)

Other than these two notes I hesitate to say more. bc I really want your idea to shine and be made to work. This is where as commentator I have to recognize I am ONLY a commentator and not the animator of this shot. I am to improve it not change it to make it my own. Only supply changes that can help make it stronger. 

I won't talk too much of specific animation notes bc this is just blocking. Just watch your arcs. (heels, torso, hips, shoulders, head, knees.. EVERYTHING in other words) watch momentum (inertia), and remember to keep your poses and not lose your timing when you move forward with this. 

ONE real fast animation note. The foot scrape on the side of the curb.. very nice. nice leg animation and head animation... even good side to side hip animation! BUT try doing that action in real life... to keep your torso at that height with out going up and down during scraping GUM of the bottom of your shoe... not possible... unless it was a sissy scrape...

So watch out for that. When doing a physical action YOUR TORSO WILL ALWAYS BE MOVING. every avar. even if it's just a little. Never should be flat flat flat in your graph editor. so watch out for that.

Hope everything goes well. I am very excited for this shot and look forward to seeing you progress on it. Your going to do fine.This blocking already kicks ass as it is.




PS.. ima post this on my blog..


:)

Daniel Gonzales III